Before the Ask: Building Real Relationships with Funders

It’s easy to think the hardest part of funding is the proposal. That if you can just get the wording right, the numbers balanced, and the outcomes clear, the rest will fall into place. But in reality, the most important work often happens long before the application is submitted.

Behind every grant is a person. And behind nearly every successful proposal is a relationship that was nurtured over time, often quietly, intentionally, and without urgency.

Especially now, with shifts like Senate Enrolled Act 1 reshaping the public funding landscape, competition for grants is more intense than ever. Funders are fielding more proposals, with fewer dollars to go around. And in this environment, the strength of your relationship can matter just as much as the strength of your proposal.

Relationship First. Always.

Funders don’t just want polished proposals. They want to know the people and organizations behind them. They want to see alignment, trust, follow-through. That trust doesn’t start on the day you submit your proposal. It starts well before that.

So instead of asking, “How do we write a winning proposal?”

Start by asking, “What kind of partner are we?”

If your answer is: thoughtful, responsive, proactive, transparent, then you’re already doing the work of relationship-building.

A Quick Guide to Funder Relationships

These seven habits offer a practical path toward building strong, lasting relationships with funders, not just during grant season, but throughout the year.

1. Make the first move early.

Reach out well before a deadline. Introduce yourself. Ask to learn more about their interests and priorities. A thoughtful introduction months in advance builds familiarity and trust.

2. Do your homework.

Go beyond the guidelines. Study their funding history. Pay attention to who and what they support over time. When you can clearly articulate how your work aligns with their values, you help them see the connection too.

3. Keep in touch between proposals.

A short note after a milestone, a story of impact, or a brief update can go a long way. Let them see your progress even when there’s no active request. It shows that you value the relationship, not just the funding.

4. Invite them into the story.

Whether it’s a site visit, community event, or roundtable, give funders the opportunity to witness your work firsthand. Even if they can’t attend, the invitation itself signals inclusion and openness.

5. Don’t wait for the report.

Send a mid-year note or share early outcomes. Highlight how their support is already making a difference. These updates demonstrate that you’re not only a good steward of their resources but also an engaged communicator.

6. Say thank you, even after a “no.”

A gracious follow-up after a declined proposal leaves a lasting impression. It shows character, maturity, and a commitment to continued connection. When appropriate, ask if they’d be willing to share feedback to help you better align future proposals with the foundation’s interests. That small step can strengthen trust and improve your chances the next time around.

7. Be the kind of partner you’d want to work with.

Be clear, consistent, responsive, and kind. Treat every interaction as an opportunity to build trust. These habits are what funders remember most.

Why It Matters

Because the heart of your work is about people. And people build trust through relationships, not paperwork. Funders care deeply about impact. But they also care about who they’re entrusting their resources to. A strong proposal shows what you intend to do. A strong relationship shows who you are.

When a funder knows your voice, sees your consistency, and feels your care, they’re not just approving a project. They’re choosing to walk alongside you. That decision is rarely made in the moment of application; it’s made over time.

We share this not because we have all the answers, but because we know what’s possible when relationships come first. Taking time to build connections is not extra. It is part of the work. And it starts well before the ask.